Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Life with Peter

Peter's hair: after multiple conditioning treatments his hair
 was pronounced dead.
Cause of death, pool chlorine. Goodbye Goldilocks.

Peter on Social Media

His tweet:
My family goes through about a hundred water balloons a week #psychos

Peter reading tweets:

Listen to Jude's latest tweet, 'My mom doesn't think I can buy a fake ID off the Internet for twelve bucks #disbeliever,' Jude is such an idiot, it's UNbeliever! Idiot! 
[editor's note: just what I was thinking.]

Peter critic:

Honestly, the number one easy way for me to unfollow you on Instagram? Post a picture of your eye. Immediate unfollow, no second chances.

Peter was proud he put a pillowcase on for the very first time
all by he-self. Skillz only a mother could love. Jude didn't help.

Peter on Choices

Peter: Jude, get those shoes off right now, you wore them without socks three days straight and now they wreak!

Jude (sniffing): Honestly, they smell really good.

Peter: That's because I sprayed them with Hanna Montana!

Jude (turning frightening shades of color, nostrils flared, lips quivering,): Why...would....anyone...

Peter: You left me with no choice.

Perfect Combo

What's the Buzz about Peter

Transcript of actual call from actual mother found on my actual phone, everyone....swoon:

"Rebekah...It's X [name withheld to protect the preposterous]...I wanted to tell you that your son Peter is absolutely precious. You have done such a good job with him. He is so nice, polite, such a great swimmer. He is such a  great asset to our swim team and everybody feels like that. All the girls are in love with him because he's so gorgeous, and I've heard even the teachers think he's gorgeous. So it's awesome for us to have him on the team. I just wanted you to know this."

[editor's note: If you know a mom out there who looks like she's struggling, and you think her kid is precious, leave a message like this on her phone. It will do wonders.]


  1. That is truly a wonderful endorsement for your son.

  2. This is fantastic; from the Hannah Montana spray to the other mother's endorsement!!

  3. Yep, that message would light me right up. I'm thinking your boys and my boys would get along really well - the perfect blend of charm and rascal!

  4. Oh my gosh, I can see why everybody loves him, what a character!

  5. How great is this?! And yay for you both...him for his outstanding awesomeness...and you for being responsible for it. : )

  6. Ah, wonderful! Love it all :)

  7. Aww..so sweet of you to write this. Sounds like he's a great guy!

  8. Circa 2025
    Mr. and Mrs. Obadiah Swafford, and Mr. and Mrs. Tremayne Cates cordially invite you to attend the nuptual Mass of their children,
    Peter Swafford and Lena Cates, who will be united in holy matrimony on..............

    oops, did I get carried away??

    1. Can Mikey marry Chloe? Have you heard that song: Chloe! I know your sister turns everyone on, but you're the one I want.

    2. In an instant we would give Chloe to Mikey!! (-; Such a cute song - I have to find it! I used Lena with Peter only because I'm weirdly agist - I just think it's nice to have a few years between hubby and wife. But really, any of our girls would be given with large dowries, to any Swafford or Nolan boy. (Like, even the girl I'm going to have in 8 years, to the boy you're going to have in 4 years!)

    3. Uh Oh!!!! There is a Moody Girl Fight over Chloe!!!! My son was born first, you heard her mom!

  9. This made me laugh and laugh. That Hannah Montana thing is just great, as are all his Tweets. Maybe I should follow him! see if he follows me back! then post a photo of my eye. You know, just to test his resolve.

    And to hear another mother speak highly of your son? Swoon. It's too bad he'll be long-married by the time my girls are old enough for him!

    1. Wow, something went very wrong with my exclamations there.

    2. I feel the same exclamatory excitement for you, Micaela!

  10. Peter is great, but not because of you Obi. I think his godmother and Bill should get all the credit! Where's my phone message?

  11. This is the sweetest post. You must be so proud of that kid--and what a sense of humor! :)


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